Moving on


Sunday January 27th, 2019

At twenty years old I gave birth to my first child. Lying in a maternity ward at NUH, my one-day-old baby boy was next to me. I was happy for a moment but then felt sad immediately in the next. Numerous thoughts were racing through my mind. I have no idea what to do next! I was only a student then and have dreams of being a flight stewardess. How is that still possible with a baby to take care of?

At NUH, they referred me to MSF for financial assistance who then referred me to Babes. They were concerned as I was showing signs of depression, a second time now.

Talking to my Caseworker from Babes was an outlet for me. My parents divorced when I was young. My mother left us to remarry a well-to-do man, leaving my brother and myself with my father without turning back. It was tough, and we struggled a lot with money. I felt lonely and unwanted. I wasn’t good enough for my mother to stay. When my boyfriend left me while I was carrying his baby, it deepened that sense of abandonment and depression in me.

With the help of my Caseworker, I reached a routine that both allows me to focus on myself and spend time with my baby. My son lives with my ex-boyfriend’s family while I study to finish my course. After my classes, I will visit my baby every evening. While I was happy to have this balance, these visits were very stressful for me as I was under constant pressure from my ex’s family to reconcile with him. It was not an option for me because he left me for another girl who was his current girlfriend.

The counselling sessions with my Caseworker helped me a lot by providing me with a safe environment to release my pent-up frustration and anger over everything that I was going through every day. I was able to cope better with my anxiety and stress. After several sessions, she finally convinced me to talk to my mother for the first time about her divorce. Understanding her reasons for leaving my father helped to resolve various questions about myself that had bothered me for years. It helped me to prepare for motherhood and be there for my baby.

Now I’ve completed my studies and found a regular job. I am financially independent, and my son now lives with me. It was a long journey, but I have moved away from the thoughts that I am inferior to others. I am thankful for the support I received from Babes as they had helped me through a dark time.